Watching a truly bad movie can be surprisingly fun-at least if it's so bad it's good. But sometimes, hate-watching or making fun of them feels a bit juvenile.
Things like "Plan 9 From Outer Space", "The Room", "Troll 2" have been entertaining trainwrecks for many.
If you want my favorite bad movie experience, try "Duets" with Huey Lewis, Paul Giamatti, and Gwyneth Paltrow.
You're welcome.
But when the chips are down, McBain is my most joyous trainwreck.
The Bigfellas Favorite Movie
Shay and I used to revel in watching this.
Whenever we needed a pick-me-up or had hung out in a while, whether in San Diego or Portland, we would slap on McBain and enjoy 107 minutes of gleeful dreck.
As Shay used to say of the movie, "It's the gift that keeps on giving."
Bass player Jeff Johnson also enjoys an awful movie.
Shay and I sat him down with McBain once, and we broke him.
We really broke him.
In Shay's honor, I want to get into McBain and share it with you here.
McBain - Premise & Cast
It stars Christopher Walken as Bobby McBain.
Let's let Wikipedia tell you all about it:
During the American withdrawal from Vietnam in 1973, POW Lieutenant Bobby McBain is liberated by a number of soldiers, including Roberto Santos, who gives McBain half of a $100 bill, saying that if the other half ever comes back to McBain, he can repay Santos. Years later, Santos attempts to lead a people’s revolt in Colombia to overthrow the president. When his revolt fails and he is killed, his sister Christina goes to New York to find McBain and present the bill. McBain agrees to help, recruits his old war buddies, raises some cash by extorting a crooked businessman, and leads an attack to topple the Colombian president.
As for co-stars it's a veritable "Who's Not" of Hollywood.
You've got Maria Conchita Alonso as his love interest, I guess.
Legendary "that guy" Victor Argo as "El Presidente"; I'm not kidding, that's his credited role.
Michael Ironside, a "that guy" from Total Recall, is a winner.
And a small role for Luis Guzman.
That about covers it for the professional actors.
The rest of the cast is spectacularly, rewatchably awful.
There are no dead spots in this movie.
Something ridiculous happens every 90 to 120 seconds here.
I'll try to cover as many as I can.
Most Ridiculous Moments
Where do we begin?
The budget problems make for a lot of instant hilarity.
Like when the movie shifts to Colombia, it was being filmed in the Philippines, so all of the Colombian extras are just Filipino dudes.
You've got the premise where the U.S. president wants to change out US currency to now be all orange to thwart the drug cartels who have the old green cash.
Check out El President’s uniform:
Or Maria Conchita Alonso wield a machine gun:
Or whatever the hell this is supposed to be.
Kind of the destitute man’s version of The Deer Hunter, keeping Christopher Walken and discarding any other good actors:
Here are two great pieces of video:
McBain shooting a pilot in another plane without damaging his own cockpit:
Luis Guzman's fantastic monologue about drug money and "working at Mickey D's."
McBain Awards
Here's a quick, bite-sized gimmick to dump some more ridiculous scenes.
Most Ridiculous Action - The ambush of mafioso "John Goombatti" by leaping off the roof of a steakhouse and landing on him.
Worst Acting - It was tough competition, but the beach house hangover scene
Worst Quote - The doctor who was in McBain's unit in 'Nam, in the emergency room yelling, "I need more stat!"
Not with a comma like "I need more, stat!" but really "I need more stat."
Worst Accent - Walken, for some reason, does a couple of lines with a weird British accent when he's trying to convince a bad guy that he's an Israeli Mossad agent.
Worst Use Of Budget - Spending what must have been about 60% of their total budget on licensing Dire Straits' "Brothers In Arms" for the opening Vietnam sequence.
They could have used the money instead for El Presidente's uniform, for starters.
If You Like Mystery Science Theater 3000 ...
We apparently weren’t the only ones to pick up on this gem.
About 10 years after Shay and I were committed to the McBain experience, they guys at Rifftrax did an episode talking over McBain.
It’s damn good.
Shout out to our friend Rick at Backyard Green Films who does the audio editing for Rifftrax.
And to Mike, Kevin and the whole gang at Rifftrax for picking a winner
You really kinda "had to be there" when discussing how awful this was.
You need to have seen the movie to really know.
Then we could joke about the choreography of McBain, Maria Conchita Alonso, and the black dude walking serpentine to stay in frame when recruiting Michael Ironside.
Or the cinematography of the swirling camera in the president's lakeside cabin retreat.
Just take it from us.
Pop an edible or fire up a bowl and share this movie with somebody you love and enjoy the ride.
